http://www.applesanity.com/ Snap, click, dive, smoke: another drag, another pull - lost in a garden of nuns Sat, 09 Dec 2006 13:05:59 GMT http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://www.applesanity.com/services/explorer.php Anyone who has ever done any moderate to advanced webpage design knows exactly what I’m talking about. There is no greater force holding back the progress of the internet than MSIE. Fuck you, Internet Explorer. Sat, 09 Dec 2006 13:05:51 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/services/explorer.php http://www.applesanity.com/services/ Lots of tools are on this page, as well as tutorials for CSS, HTML, XHTML, and PHP. There are also considerable entries regarding web standards and standardization; usability factors, web development, and search engine optimizaion (SEO).... Sat, 09 Dec 2006 13:00:00 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/services/ http://www.applesanity.com/searc/ Now Applesanity.com has its own built-in, php-based internal search engine. Fri, 08 Dec 2006 08:00:32 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/search/ http://www.applesanity.com/ Well, it's been a month of almost nothing. Why? Applesanity.com is now on a dedicated IP address! Also, launching a bunch of websites under the AppleSanity Group, Inc., umbrella, including www.vandaniel.com and www.digicamsurvey.com. I've also bought out applesanity.org/net/us/biz/name/info, so fuck off, you spoofing cuntrags. Tue, 24 Oct 2006 16:14:30 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/ http://www.applesanity.com/gin/martini/ (Updated with twice the recipes) Gin: you are the love of my life. Let us behold the many dimensions of your taste. (Note: not only should the gin be chilled, the glass should be as well. Fill glasses with ice and water for thirty seconds, then empty and lightly shake dry.) Wed, 30 Aug 2006 05:22:27 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/gin/martini/ http://www.applesanity.com/dymphna/ We, the keepers of Apple Sanity, Sunshine Ecstasy, wish to extend our prayers, our devotion, our veneration, and out gratitude to our patron saint, Dymphna of Gheel. She has blessed us with sanity and rapturous ecstasy, as she bears patronage for the mentally insane, runaways, rape victims, and sleepwalkers. Mon, 28 Aug 2006 03:52:20 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/dymphna/ http://www.applesanity.com/text/3rd_period/ Randomness - updated every Tuesday - This week: This is your brain. Wed, 23 Aug 2006 05:54:19 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/text/3rd_period/ http://www.applesanity.com/stats/ Well shit. I suppose I'm under military surveillance now. Here's a hint: I'm not Arab. I'm not Persian. I'm not Muslim. I've never travelled to any country where the predominant religion is Muslim. I don't have a towel wrapped around my head. I am not your target. I am just mocking you for your paranoia and I am just very pissed at you for using your argument of 'for the sake of national security' as a pretense to inconvenience me. At any rate, I sure as hell don't fit your racial profile. Sun, 20 Aug 2006 09:47:07 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/stats/ http://www.applesanity.com/text/anti-war/ After their little exercises, they tighten their adorable little red scarves, pick up their tiny, adorable little red books, file up in rows and columns like darling, obedient soldiers, sweaty palms pressed against beating hearts, and they start chanting. Praising the People's Democratic Republic. Praising the Party. Praising Comrade Hồ Chí Minh. Praising Comrade Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. Forsaking all the ties that bind, vowing to only one loyalty, one finality, one truth: the state. Thu, 17 Aug 2006 09:20:21 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/text/anti-war/ http://www.applesanity.com/text/sunday/ WWJD - The weekly column that asks the question, "What Would Jesus Do?" - This week: What Would Jesus do if He was a target for some good old fashioned racial profiling? Wed, 16 Aug 2006 17:07:43 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/text/sunday/ http://www.applesanity.com/text/terrorism/ Just think about it. A loaded airplane has about 100 or so infidels. And getting onto the plane is a real fucking hassle. But what about the line to get past security? There are hundreds of infidels waiting in that line, with almost no security to stop you from waiting in line. Is Allah's Plan becoming obvious yet? Tue, 15 Aug 2006 06:13:31 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/text/terrorism/ http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/prodigal/ A perfect murder requires very careful planning. First, you need good cause. In this scenario, we are witnessing a most adorable, most prodigal son making sure that there is a pot of golden insurance reparations waiting for him, should 'something happen' to his old man. Wed, 09 Aug 2006 06:38:06 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/prodigal/ http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/anime/ Anime is all about the money shot. Anime is all about the splash page. Anime sucks. Anime sucks. Tue, 08 Aug 2006 05:57:16 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/anime/ http://www.applesanity.com/text/the_man/ Nobody understands the black man's plight better than a total outsider. A properly nourished, well-educated, well-financed, and socially-aware white person is able to offer unique insight into addressing black stereotypes in such a way that black people simply cannot, for they are just too high on crack to help themselves. Sun, 30 Jul 2006 10:47:47 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/text/the_man/ http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/sublimis/ An abstract modern art painting by Barnett Newman... In hindsight, the reasoning behind the composition becomes more apparent: while the right rectangle was a series of reducing squares, the left rectangle is a series of reducing rectangles. The result is that the larger of the two sections in the left rectangle is directly proportional to the dimensions of the whole panel. Sun, 23 Jul 2006 23:49:12 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/sublimis/ http://www.applesanity.com/images/hitched/ Image gallery for the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Ciaci B_____ - my first expedition into wedding photography. Mon, 17 Jul 2006 03:54:40 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/images/hitched/ http://www.applesanity.com/text/the_shit/ The fact of the matter is that you didn't force the hot Brazilian lingerie model to have sex with you after you fondled her, tore off her clothes, covered her in lubricant, and bound her arms and legs together. It was entirely an outcome of extreme circumstances. Last I checked, accidental sex does not count as rape. Thu, 6 Jul 2006 17:29:26 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/text/the_shit/ http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/donner/ The story of the Donner-Reed party is one of the greatest of American tragedies. Their history represents the utter failure of every American ideal: perseverance, optimism, risk-taking, procrastination, adventurism, hope, faith, ingenuity, opportunism... If there's a shortcut, should we take it? If we're already rich, should we try to get richer? If we can have sex with it, should we fuck it? Mon, 03 Jul 2006 06:43:19 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/donner http://www.applesanity.com/hate_mail#brendan-ballou Let it be known to everyone the reach of this website. 'Apple Sanity' is rigged into multiple directories and sitemap programs. Within a week of this update, this page will be thoroughly indexed. The result is that whenever you do an online search for Brendan Ballou , this will be one of the first hits - ahead of his 'Bwog' articles and ahead of his 'brog' page. That's right: any friend, any internet user, and especially any job interviewer, will see this page that is especially dedicated to you, Brendan Ballou Kelley . Sat, 01 Jul 2006 02:22:10 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/hate_mail#brendan-ballou http://www.applesanity.com/text/steam/ ...Speaking of cheesecake, I'm still hungry. But it's okay for me to eat as much as I want because I just drank enough Slim-Fast to last twelve meals. That means that I can have twelve lunches and not gain any weight. I think I'll go to McDonalds.... Wed, 28 Jun 2006 07:28:34 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/text/steam/ http://www.applesanity.com/text/carman/ ...Moreover, given the recent pattern of heat and rain, the shoes would become perfect incubation vessels, causing the bacteria in them to multiply at a greater rate. People walking by the shoes would probably collapse to the ground and choke in their own vomit.... Tue, 27 Jun 2006 12:43:50 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/text/carman/ http://www.applesanity.com/hate_mail/ It was inevitable. For Christ's sake, born-agains are still supporting Israel because if the Jews rebuild the temple, Jesus will come back. People can't help but misinterpret any and every thing when they can see only what they want to see. Bring it on. Mon, 26 Jun 2006 09:46:05 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/hate_mail/ http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/flipping/ acid and ecstasy towards a better, lovelier, sexier future Wed, 21 Jun 2006 14:57:50 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/flipping/ http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/peterson/ Give us our dealth penalty so that we may seek vengeance against those who have transgressed against us. Let us drink their blood and celebrate our Blessed Lady of Justice (updated). Sun, 25 Jun 2006 08:27:06 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/peterson/ http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/salvation/ An analysis of the New Testament to show how the coming of Jesus has changed the notions of morality and redemption - how Christians, living in the Age of the Dispensation of Grace, are no longer bound by anything in the Old Testament, and the consequent implications. (Appendices added) Sat, 24 Jun 2006 05:39:55 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/salvation/ http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/blow/ Incontrovertible, objective proof that the “War on Drugs” is failing miserably, especially versus cocaine - complete with quantitative evidence: graphs, tables and citations. Tue, 20 Jun 2006 21:49:59 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/blow/ http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/richard_ng/ A discussion on the consequences of suicide when it is personally motivated Thu, 23 Jun 2006 01:12:11 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/richard_ng/ http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/jane_fonda/ Very few crimes are actually defined by the U.S. Constitution; treason being one of them. Here is proof that this bitch has betrayed America. Fri, 09 Jun 2006 0:00:16 GMT http://www.applesanity.com/fetish/jane_fonda/